Re-Examining the I, ourselves and Access

Who am I?

My name is Jessica Ga-Wun Leung. I am going to explain my identity of who I am as a start. I am DeafPOC Asian Chinese Taiwanese, Queer non-binary(NB). As I begin this article with introduction, is all you see and read here. The reason I am stating my identity again to emphasis what I am examining this article this time. I am re-examining my privilege, my knowledge, and the communities that I have engage and place my self in. I am speaking in my own experience and awareness when it comes to unpacking the meaning of access.


Re-Examining the "I"

When I was born, I am diving in a world that I begin to slowly noticing more and more myself that I am born as a connector and born with love. To find love in my own ways first then others. Through out my journey, I had a person told me once that "my life is miserable." As daunting that phrase, as I give my experience and share of what my life is going around with me, it is not miserable. It is a challenge and change that I am going through. I am human and of course I will have sadness, fear, anger and of course laughter and happiness to fight through my days.

I grew up with a family vision for me to be strong and growing with love. I grew up in mainstream setting. I grew up in a different school setting many times- disability class room.  I had English tutoring many times. I had psychologist dealt during my father past away. I had been outsider many times in school settings. Of all choices and all times, I was learning that it was hard to think about my self through those times and often I wanted to realize that sooner.

It is hard to try to take a moment of yourself and love yourself as the many transitions, struggles and hopes to keep yourself together before taking care of others.

I am happy to allow myself to take time to dig in deeper of my identities, knowledge and keep doing what I enjoy and love.

My thoughts pulls me to,

What do you notice your self first?
How do you know yourself?
Have you take your time to reward your self ?
How do you know you're speaking from your own experience?
And not take their space?


Re-Examining our selves

When I start watching this film, that begun my chapter of my journey of who I am. This film was a Deaf Taiwanese film, "Hear Me". Back then, I would be still eating unhealthy choices and watching streaming videos on internet in my out of date laptop. I wasn't sure what this film was expected. In many alarms, in my situation noticing that one of them was Deaf and is a younger sister to the older sister, co-dependent for the money she raised in success of becoming at number one swimmer competing in Olympics. At this time, their father was out of town to do research for business and mother has past away. To be honest, I am not sure if this movie is based on real story. I want to avoid the whole spoilage of this movie, I am going to conclude that there was fire accident that alarms my attention that shift my inner being to think about my consequences in life if I am asleep, or unaware of the fire alarm or everyone else forgot about me.

My initial thoughts:

How can I keep my self safe?
How can I grow to be more aware of myself?
How do I find my support?
Where is my support?
Where is my backup?
And not conclude everyone's fault?
Who am I?

I think re-examining our selves from the privilege that we have dealt involving society is crucial. This means further discussing working on human connection and our identities coming across the space, alone, or with people.

 When it comes to access,

What do you notice first hasn't been in the room when it comes to access?

In most of the time, we think access is "Safety", ramp, seniors and people in wheelchairs. That is the very small information that we assume on our daily lives about Access.

Access is in everyday our daily lives we seek make and do. 

Can you tell me where in your time do you see everyone use access as a purpose?

I am going to start with food and water. That is our daily lives and basic access of our needs.

We cannot acknowledge food and water as access without the land acknowledgement of this land we live in is unceded ancestral territory where we are living breathing with Coast Salish peoples in these territory Musqueam, Tsleil-Waututh, and Squamish. Water to them is alive as we are and part of their culture.

We cannot acknowledge food and water as access without that the price cost still involving fight for clean water and pipeline happening with capitalism, the economy and government and of course gentrification co-design that wages and labour that people have dealt with. Food have varies of culture and history behind as well transporting one once and teachings being brought and have food options is privilege.

We cannot acknowledge food and water as access without understanding that intersections of people of colour and low-income do not by pass access to bring food to their homes unless there is resources that can allow them survive.

We cannot acknowledge food and water without understanding that brings people together to become a part of our connectors.  A daily connector and many connectors in our lives that brought you and me together in a space.

How can we not recognize what is important that in front of us and not see it as access?